I went through puberty watching old movies on television, usually on Saturdays or late at night. That’s when those old RKO movies with scantily-clad (for the time) women dressed as harem girls, jungle warriors, and Amazons usually were on. That probably shaped a lot of my early sexual fantasies, so, if nothing else, I can blame it on the mainstream titillation that my parents watched that I wasn't supposed to. That said, I do have a certain fondness for sites that try to incorporate that idea, and Amazon-Warriors.com is just such a site.

“Amazon Warriors” is a German website dedicated to the “Sword and Sandal” (or more appropriately “Schwert und Sandale”) genre of Fantasy science fiction action film clips. Many of the films deal with the woman battling each other with swords, pikes, and short bows while clad in nothing but loincloths and leather gauntlets. There are also Gladiatrix battles, with two women going at it with the gladius (short sword) and parma (small, round shield) and trident. Most of the warriors are topless, which is just the way you would expect female Amazon warriors to be, right? After all, every jungle tribe I've seen on National Geographic has been pretty scantily clad, so it makes sense that, in the traditional sense, the Amazon warriors would be, too.

This installment opens with Melena and Askara (Melena is in the harness on the left) sitting in a corner of the Amazon fortress parade court, their bodies still bearing the grime and gore of battle, awaiting their fate as prisoners. Their hands are chained – chained! – which is always a nice touch in a GIMP bondage scene because you don't see that very often.

The city queen’s executioner, Himmelswelt, enters the courtyard and informs the two prisoners that the queen has decreed that they should be executed. The two warriors laugh at this, which seems to piss off Himmelswelt. She roughly grabs Askara by the hair and pulls her over to the blood-covered execution pole, where a rope is clipped onto the chains around her wrists and she is bound arms-over-head.

Melena, forced to watch as her friend is prepared for execution, cries out, “What! You wanna slaughter us like cattle!” to which Himmelswelt simply smiles and struts over to the executioner’s stand, where a bow and a quiver of arrows sit waiting to do their duty.

Askara looks at her friend, her eyes saying, “Avenge me, sister!” Then, she gathers her courage to face the inevitable. She taunts her executioner, who promptly places an arrow into the helpless captive’s tummy.

But she doesn't die right away. Though her pain is great, she manages to taunt her executioner some more, and gets another arrow into her body, this time in her shoulder. Himmelswelt obviously enjoys tormenting her victim, because at that range she could've had a clean shot through Askara’s heart. As the helpless captive hangs from the chains from her wrists, twisting with pain, Himmelswelt finishes her off with a knife thrust through the ribs and into the aortic chamber.

Lowering the dead Amazon, Himmelswelt unties the lifeless body and goes over and grabs Melena and pulls her by the hair over to the execution pole. Melena, growling, demands to die like a warrior, with her hands free. For some reason, Himmelswelt thinks this is a good idea, and unties the prisoner’s hands.

Ok, so, wait a minute here. You're alone with a prisoner who you know is trained in combat, and you're going to take the chance that she might knock you out, kill you, and escape? Apparently there’s some sort of warrior code at work, because it doesn't make any sense to me. Then again, I'm not an Amazon Warrior, so what do I know? Besides, it looks like Melena is in rough shape after that battle anyway, and Himmelswelt could've taken her two out of three falls, so why fight the inevitable. Anyway, Melena keeps to her word and stands by the execution pole, offering her body to her executioner.

She is rewarded with an arrow to her sternum, which apparently misses her heart because she is still capable of taunting Himmelswelt, asking her if that’s the best she can do.

Here is her reply:

And once again she fails to make the kill-shot, hitting Melena in the chest. So, apparently, Melena was right, but what a terrible way to win an argument! Melena, smiling, slumps to the ground, her body supported by the pole. Himmelswelt, now that she’s warmed up with some practice shots, finishes Melena off with an arrow through the forehead.

She pulls out her knife to give Melena the coup de grâce, but it isn't necessary. She’s very much dead. Her work finished, Himmelswelt struts over to the stand, gives her victims one last leering snarl (or snarling leer), then goes back into the castle to punch out for the day.

As I said in my review for Forgive Me, also by this studio, if you're just looking for seven minutes of light-hearted escapism, this is for you. If you're into the whole sword and sandal barbarian Amazon jungle girl gladiator thing, you'll find at least twelve movies you absolutely have to have. I'm not really into the whole Amazon warrior thing other than scantily-clad models being put through the ringer, and this movie fits that bill. Like good poetry, I keep going back to enjoy it again.

The models do a good job of acting the part (particularly Askara, who carries her role with just her facial expressions), the costumes are absolutely B-movie Sci-Fi perfect, and I'm pretty sure if I was a hot-looking 18-28 year-old German model, I'd probably sign up for something like this. It’s sexy, it’s campy, it’s fun, and that makes for good entertainment.

This is one of the earlier clips, when the studio was transitioning to better cameras, so the image clarity isn't exactly HD, but it’s good. Back in the day (2010), this would have been cutting edge. There’s some bad editing where the “flow” jumps in a scene at the beginning, and there’s a continuity issue when Askara gets her second arrow, but everything else works fine.

The reason why you'll ignore those flaws is because the two victims are quite fetchingly attractive, and even though Himmelswelt looks like she’s on her way to a Berlin bondage club gathering, it doesn't really detract much from the overall feel of the clip because she plays such a great evil guard. Really, she does a good job of being a female Darth Vader and in that respect the odd hair color kind of works in her favor because it makes her look “science fictiony”. The girls do try to act their parts and do a fair job of it, and the sets are nice and the props are good. The special effects aren't bad, though I did notice that when the girls are hit with an arrow, they're already bleeding from their wounds. To be realistic, the blood should have come later. But, if you just go with the action you won't really notice it.

Also worth noting is that none of the girls have tan lines, which makes this a bit more enjoyable for me because it helps with my suspension of disbelief. The actresses play their roles serious, and that really helps with my enjoyment. I want to watch a sword and sandal flick that takes itself seriously, and this one does a good job of that. They really put forth the effort in this film despite the budget limits.

Overall, this did a fair job of keeping me entertained. I liked it the first time through, and I've watched it several times since I got it. Like reading Robert Frost poetry, you have to think about it, then go back through it again to appreciate the art. I'd really like to see the studio do this script again, using better cameras, and perhaps some more dramatic build-up before the girls get executed, such as Himmelswelt saying, “You have a beautiful body. It’s a shame to destroy it”, as if the girls had a choice to turn “pleasure slave” to save their lives. It certainly would have upped the drama. Oh well. If you're into fantasy, you won't be disappointed.

Rating: B- for mere mortals; A for enthusiasts