Our setting is the dread Inquisition, in an aerospace-clean environment. The bondage equipment is nicely polished and looks like it was just delivered from Home Depot. Sir Giles, the grand inquisitor, is dressed like a pirate. He is wearing a bandana and a puffy shirt obviously borrowed from Jerry Seinfeld. Through part of the film, he wears a sword that drags the floor and bangs into everything.

The Countess is a lovely brunette who spends the entire time chained to the wall with her clothes on (GAAAH!) She is never molested. She really is nothing more than a prop (also from Home Depot, I guess).

There is a storyline but it is quite lame "Confess that you are a witch"- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.) The acting is pretty bad.

Spanky is a plump redhead, complete with spare tire and a jello butt. The first scene opens with Spanky in the stocks. She is whipped and then moved to the rack for more whipping, waxing and burning with a steel rod. The torture is real, along with the marks on her body. Her reactions are nil, however, because she is obviously a pain-junkie and loving every minute of it.

Next she is tied upright with a square box on her head for a more severe whipping. Then she is dunked and her arms are then pulled behind her for some knife play.

Periodically, he races across the room to the Countess with a sudden knife threat or one dollop of wax (horrors). Now comes the real faux pas. During one of these lunges, she twists to avoid him and reveals A FUCKING 15TH-CENTURY TATTOO! - NO, NO, NO!

Although the flick is shot with three cameras, he always seems to be in the way. I kept trying to push him aside to see what was going on. Now Spanky is strapped in a funky chair that spreads her arms and legs wide. This scene is lit by a bright red light which is supposed to simulate an offscreen brazier. The light washes her body in overexposure and the only time you can see the action is when (you guessed it) he gets in the way of the fucking light!

Our saga concludes with Spanky facing an X-frame for more whipping. Confession is delivered and she is hanged. We see this in shadow (sorry asphyxers, you lose too).

The biggest disaster of all is that the disc was defective and would play only with onscreen text commentary. (GAAAH!) To top it off, the tat was mentioned in the commentary. So they noted the error and didn't bother to cut it out!

I am left with no choice but to give this film a dismal grade of C-