Guys... please, your low budget films are lame at best, overdone, lack originality, the acting is poor, the effects quite horrid at times... but do not despair. You have a chance at legendary, cult status greatness if you will just include ONE well done GIMP scene. Not to say you can't include more, and if you're feeling daring, then by all means.

Think of all those horrid movies that include the characteristics mentioned about that we still talk about today because of the GIMP? Would we still talk about Galaxy of Terror if it were not for Tawny O'Connell's slimy nude romp to the death with a slug monster? What about Barbarian Queen? Would we care about this movie if it were not for the lovely Lana Clarkson bound, naked, spread eagled torture and ravaged by a dweeb torturer? I will quote Wikipedia here to illustrate my point:

"Barbarian Queen was panned by the audience for its poor dialogue, bad scripting, and cheesy special effects. However, Lana Clarkson drew praise for her acting and her stunning beauty. Her performance as a strong-willed woman subjected to torture and rape by a smaller, weaker man became the film's signature scene with the followers of the genre, such that the movie is now considered a cult classic as a result."

There you have it... point proven. GIMP will make your film live on, long after its lame acting, poor dialogue and story should have condemned it to the scrap heap of obscurity. That bit gotten off my chest, let's get on to my review of The Watermen, shall we?

The movie starts off with promise. A young lass, running through an island wilderness, scantily clad, part of her shirt ripped open to reveal a perky right breast. Lovely. Of course the 'Watermen' are pursing her. We know they are watermen because they are wearing the rubber rain suits that watermen wear and have a large gaff hook with a rope attacked to it. Needless to say, the chase does not last long, and our poor damsel is 'caught' and dragged off screaming and struggling, never to be seen again... roll opening credits.

At this point I'm thinking... “ok, I know I won't be seeing that chick again in this movie, but there was nudity, and a bit of peril. It has possibilities.”

Cut to our cast of six vict... er... I mean overly healthy young people who are getting ready for a boat trip. Three men (Putzes) and three lovely, nubile young lasses.

So, they set off, and the things you would expect to see in a movie like this you see. Lovely girls in small bikinis laying out on the deck.... One girl getting lotion teasingly applied to her bare back as another straddles her... taunting the poor old captain of the boat as they do so. A nude shower scene, with gratuitous nudity. Meh.

So, anyway, the power on the boat goes dead, the boat is stranded in the middle of the ocean. Then, what should show up to the 'rescue' but a fishing vessel, crewed by who? 'The Watermen' of course. The young group has been adrift for days, and are parched, so what do our helpful sailors do? Give them water, of course.... laced with a potent knock out drug. Clever!

Now, the crew descends upon the unconscious youngins and takes them aboard their vessel... one of the girls is taken aside and raped... of course she's unconscious for this... no nudity is shown, it's filmed with 'shaky cam' ™ and it's out of focus. Ugh!

Ok... ok, Sardu, calm down... it could get better. I mean, they have THREE lovely lasses, unconscious, tied up and completely at their mercy. How could this go wrong?

Let me tell you how.

The situation... Three putzes tied up, separated from the girls in the lower levels of the 'Watermens' lair, whilst two of our babes are tied full spreadeagle to tables, the third chair tied. Wow... such potential for GIMPY goodness! They approach one babe, still unconscious from the sedative, and begin to undress her.. now I should mention that this is the same babe that did the nude shower scene... so this should be good. Right? Right?

No... no, it's not good. They unbutton (not cut off) her top to reveal the red bra beneath, and pull down her shorts to reveal her panties... and … stop.. leave her there like that. Now, at this point, I'm banging my head, but I'm holding out hope... Are you paying attention film makers? This could have been a classic GIMP moment that would have made put 'The Watermen' right up there with those rare movies that we still cherish today, long after their expiration date. CUT OFF ALL HER CLOTHES. Do a little fondling, have her wake up... struggle in horror... its okay if they leave after that... really. I would have been quite happy with that scene... but no. For some STUPID reason, these killers are suddenly nice enough to leave her clothes intact and do nothing.

Not long after, one of the other girls wakes up, manages to escape her bonds, revive the other two girls and try to escape. WTF??? Now, if it had been done my way, we would have had some babe running around the rest of the movie in some makeshift, barely there clothing. However... given what I'd seen to this point, this was entirely predictable.

Of course, we are only halfway through the movie at this point, and this is only the FIRST escape attempt so of course, there is more GIMP potential, right? The answer is yes, of course, but what we get falls somewhat short.

Of course, our trio of babes is trying to make their way to freedom when one of the 'Watermen' happens upon them. A fight ensues, and he does a pretty good job of holding his own against three GIMPettes with their fury unleashed. At one point, he grabs a trident and IMPALES the shapely leg of the buxom brunette. Very convincingly done, but at this point one of the surviving putzes shows up to tip the scale in their favor. Exit one 'Waterman”.

By the way... why do the 'Watermen' go after healthy young people anyway? Is it cannibalism? No.. it's chum. Yes... chum. Apparently the desperate Watermen find that the fishes prefer human meat. Ugh.

So, continuing this tired retread of the thing the filmmakers loosely refer to as a plot, they make their way out of the island lair, and of course get separated during another chase. (yawn, never seen this before!)... Two girls are recaptured (yay) and find themselves at the mercy of two of the 'Watermen'. One is the poor lass with the impaled leg, who, due to blood loss is not faring so well. The girls are pinned side by side on a table, and as one watches in horror, the brunette's arm is cut lengthwise, very graphically, along the vein... so she will bleed to death. Of course, the torture doesn't stop there. The 'waterman' rip open her shirt to expose a rather lovely pair of perky, big nippled breasts... he brings the knife to the poor girl's right boob and performs impromptu breast reduction surgery by removing one of her implants. At this point, our poor lass expires from blood loss.

I'm rather torn about this scene... for some reason... it should be good, but it's not. The special effects are well done, and the girls scream convincingly... but it just misses the mark. No bondage... and if you have a lovely babe at your mercy... stripping her, all you do is bleed her to death and cut out her implant?? Why?

Later on, a putz arrives to save the other girl. She ends up on a conveyor belt, unconscious, bound, slowly moving towards two revolving steal grinding cylinders. Certainly if she reaches the end a horrid, bone crushing death awaits. There is a fight... shot in slow motion... with flaming weapons! (yawn). This was the filmmakers attempt at tension. The problem here, is that this plot has been paint-by-numbers so far, and so already we know the girl isn't going to die... yet... and the guy is going to win the fight.

As far as GIMP goes, that's all there is in this movie, so my review ends here... I won't spoil the 'surprise' ending, which is, if you have ever seen a horror movie in your life, no surprise at all. The acting is bad, the dialogue atrocious, the plot predictable. There is some bondage, some nudity, and one scene that almost makes the movie worth a rental. I think that this movie frustrates in the lost potential... it could have been a classic. I can't find myself hating this movie as much as say...Resurrection County, because of a few things. There is bondage, there is nudity, there is a rape... somewhat shown.... but I still hate it. I will rate this a D+. Some might find the bondage/ strip scene passable, and the “implant removal” scene might tickle someone's fancy... and the breasts shown are all lovely, perky breasts.