Of course Ralphus, I was especially thinking of you, and knowing just how you would almost howl/ giggle with joy at the fine blood letting of this flick... and it certainly brings back found memories. So without further adieu I bring you:

SPACESHIP TERROR: My friends, this is truly a diamond in the rough of low budget, indie horror, for not only are we treated to some fine GIMP/ DID peril, but the story is actually enjoyable in its own right, with a rather tight script, decent dialogue, an interesting villain, and some decent looking damselettes to torment. WARNING: Spoilers to follow.

The CGI special effects here are low budget, but it is clear they were well thought out. The spaceships portrayed are pretty functional, and the attention to detail is clear. This more than makes up for the sometimes cartoony looking CGI.

Our story opens up on the 'terror ship'. Grotesque body parts, dismembered hands, feet, heads, torsos are shown in gory, bloody detail. Very well done effects, and it certainly adds to the atmosphere of the thing. The filmmakers let you know right from the start they are pulling no punches.

After that sweet opening, we get to the meat of the story. Five women and a putz crash land on a planet in some sector of space. The women are dressed in the most unattractive space outfits I have ever seen... it looks like baggy white plastic rain gear, with a black belt, and black combat boots. It looks terrible, and does nothing to compliment the figures of the women, and in fact, is completely unattractive. I suspect that this was intentional, for reasons I'll explain in just a moment.

Of course, the evil guy controlling the terror ship sees them crash from the bridge of his ship, and picks up their distress signal, and lands nearby. The crew of the downed transport, of course think they are 'rescued' but truth be told, they would have been better on the lovely Earth like planet they landed on.

Anyway, they go to investigate, and the first clue that there is going to be trouble is the name of the ship, apparently painted in BLOOD, which is 'Terror.' Now I really loved this. The ship is yellow, and apparently the original call numbers on the side of the ship were, 'T-PP01' which our space faring maniac has modified to say 'Terror'. A very nice touch!

Having little choice, our intrepid crew approaches the ship, and of course the hatch door opens and allows them to enter. Here they encounter 'Chris'. Chris is a smallish, Asian looking woman, wearing a ripped grey half shirt and a cute pair of pink panties. She will be wearing this for the entire movie.

Little Chris has been a prisoner on the ship for some time (we later learn it's been two years), and she helps them to the infirmary so they can get some medical attention for the putz that was injured in the crash landing.

The infirmary, we find out is a 'safe zone' along with the bathroom across the hall, and while there 'Captain Terror' won't hunt you. Everything else is 'his territory.' The ship is booby trapped as well!

Soooooo... we get to the infirmary to help the putz, and what happens? Some type of hydraulic, rotating arrow machine lowers from the ceiling and pumps two arrows into the putz, nailing him to the wall through the shoulders. OUCH! Apparently, the 'safe zone' does not apply to putzes. Can I just say, I fully agree with Captain Terror's 'no putz' policy?

So, anyway, our putz is screaming, having been made into a human wall hanging, and suddenly, from behind the wall emerges a BIG drill bit, that proceeds to impale him right through his back and out his belly! Awesome, exit one useless putz! Now, only six women remain, and we are guaranteed an no putz interference issue for the rest of the flick!

Let me comment about the women here. None of them are super attractive, there is no makeup, their outfits are horrid, and they are a bit of a mess from the crash. They are still pretty, but they LOOK like their roles.... and they all have distinctive personalities, and their dialogue all goes with their characters. I found this to be so amazing... totally did not expect this.

Also, the set... they must have found an old sea freighter to film on, and dressed it up, because it just looks great, many twisting passages. To actually construct a set like this would have been far too expensive.

Now, 'Captain Terror' is a beast. A tall, FAT, mid forties, beer gutted, redneck looking dude, with one WHITE eye, a tube going up his nose, and a variety of gadgets, including another arrow firing device, with a line attached to it... perfect for reeling in prey. There are vid screens around the halls, and whenever the girls leave the infirmary a five minute count down begins, the end of which marks the point where Captain Terror begins to hunt... the screens even change over to say, 'I'm coming for you!'

So, lets get to the GIMP, shall we? There are two very worthy scenes, though all of the deaths are pretty gory. The first GIMP is our poor Chris. She is relating the story of the 'escape pod'. There is a code that must be entered, and it apparently takes five minutes to reach it before Captain Terror will come for you. As she explains all this, we are shown flashbacks of her attempting to make it, and failing of course, and falling into the captain's evil clutches. We are shown stills of Chris.. chained, NAKED, clearly tortured and whipped. VERY GRAPHIC, well lit pictures of her ordeal. This caused me to sit up a moment, as it was rather unexpected.

The other poor GIMPette is Anna. Folks, what happens to this woman is probably one of the worst/ best/ gory tortures I've seen in some time in a mainstream film. The first thing that happens to her, is while exploring the ship, her hand gets impaled. Not long after, she is captured by Captain Terror.

He takes her to his 'torture laboratory' and cuffs her to a table full spread eagle, and then proceeds to strip her completely naked. Well lit scene, and as it turns out, Anna is rather attractive naked. Who knew, beneath all that horrid plastic? Oh, and I forgot to mention that the ship is kept at an unbearable, heated humid temperature, and the ladies all strip off the plastic rain coats, and spend the rest of the movie running around in their skivvies.

Anna really goes through hell in this movie. After being stripped, and some type of torture device applied to her belly, we cut away from her for awhile. When next we see her, she is really in bad shape... now completely naked... no shoes... NOTHING. Captain Terror carries her back to the table, and very slowly secures her to it once more... graphically showing our lovely, naked damsel in all her glory, as she is cuffed in a full spread eagle once more.... of course she has wounds all over her, so she doesn't look her best.

Later still, we cut back to her... but she isn't shown... only the shadow on the wall, and blood splatter as Captain Terror takes a hand axe to her... she screams wonderfully, though we are lead to believe this is the end for her... but... no!

Later still, we cut back to her and she's not dead... it is a waist up shot. She is still completely naked, spread eagled on the examining table, Captain Terror standing over her.. and she, begging for him to stop. He leans over, and begins suckling on her right breast... and then very graphically bites off her nipple. No cut... nothing.

The other worthy GIMP scene is when poor Chris finds herself in the Captain's clutches later on, and is electro tortured. She isn't naked, which detracted it for me, but she isn't wearing much to begin with either. She screams, begs and writhes convincingly.

I don't want to give away the rest... especially what exactly Captain Terror did to poor Anna with that axe, but lets just say it is Dolcett worthy.