I thought you guys had the right intentions. Sure, the plot of your Swedish horror flick--deformed hillbillies kidnapping and torturing motorists in the backwoods--is nothing new, but it does offer a great opportunity for GIMP action. I was especially taken in by the lines in your synopsis:

Friends Jenna and Tara are on their way to a cheerleading contest. ... What they don't know is that they are being watched by a group of mad men. Their only intention is to hunt them down and kill them for all sorts of sadistic pleasure.

Cheerleaders? Mad men? Sadistic pleasure? Obviously, your movie is targeted at people like me who rather enjoy cheerleaders, mad men and sadistic pleasure.

But judging from the end result, I strongly advise that you read every chapter of the GIMP Handbook for Movie Producers. In fact, read it twice because you pretty much broke every important rule.

Failed GIMP scene No. 1: I was impressed that you guys wasted no time getting to the action. You start the movie off with an attractive woman tied arms over head and wearing a white negligee in a large shack in the wilderness. She's a bit bloody and there's a bulge in her stomach. A bulge? You have a visibly pregnant woman as the first victim?

I know some people might be into that sort of thing, but not me. However, the cardinal mistake you made is having the villain cut the ropes and then take his eyes off her. Why? Oh, I get it. So he can throw a knife into the back of the fleeing victim and then stomp on her bloated stomach. For the gore crowd, this might work. For this GIMPer, meh.

Failed GIMP scene No. 2: After their car crashes and they accept a ride from a guy who looks like a sleepy rat who hasn't bathed since the Reagan administration, Tara, Jenna and Oliver are tied hands in front and led to the villains' home.

Now here you guys really screwed up. I have seen some lame ties in my time, but what you did to these women is downright embarrassing. Their hands are loosely tied in front, and to keep them from running away, the rope is fastened to a ring on the FLOOR. Thankfully for you, the cheerleaders are rather dumb. They try burning the rope instead of, you know, maybe untying that stupid knot on the ring. Or maybe freeing themselves from the loose ropes around their wrists.

But you guys really sank to the depths of retardation with the next scene.

Guy In Merciless Peril: Another hillbilly rather easily ties/handcuffs Oliver in another room so he's bent over a table. And then Oliver is raped offscreen. Now this is just plain wrong. Why do you producers think that male rape is something that anyone wants to watch? Yes, it was terrifying in Deliverance, but that movie didn't have two cheerleaders in it, now did it? What the hell were you thinking? Get your priorities "straight!"

Failed GIMP scene No. 3: The women have given up on the burning idea and pull the ring out of the floor, but then the bad guys come back and gay rapist feels Tara's tits and snatch for a brief moment. OK. You guys are trying to redeem yourselves for the male rape scene, right? I guess not. The rapist shoots another male prisoner in the head and then leaves the room! This allows the women, still fiendishly tied to the ring that's now loose, to escape.

Failed GIMP scene No. 4: You have Tara taped wrists and ankles to a chair as the hillbilly beats the crap out of Chad. (Tara gets punched in the face once.) Jenna, meanwhile, is tied hands in front (sigh, won't you guys ever learn?) in a boat and tossed in the water with a large rock chained to her ankles. After holding onto the side of the boat for a while, she hits rock bottom. As does your movie. As does my interest in your movie. As does any hope of you guys offering any sadistic torture scenes in this movie.

But could I be wrong? An asphyxia scene using clear plastic? Yes! But wait. The victim is a male hillbilly.

Before we talk about what went so horribly wrong in terms of GIMP action, let's discuss some other major flaws in your movie.

According to the credits, only three of you did all the writing, directing, photography, etc. That's to be applauded. And I think you guys worked real hard on an obviously minuscule budget. But you had problems in:

Casting: Why do the so-called cheerleaders look as old as soccer moms? Especially Tara? You can be forgiven because they are attractive, but damn, I initially thought they were mother and daughter.

The Swedish elements: The movie is supposedly set somewhere near Minneapolis, but the gas station in the film is Swedish. And some of the license plates are obviously European.

Voices: Everyone in the movie has a Swedish accent. It's subtle but really comes out when they are shouting or swearing. That's not too big a problem, and maybe people in Minnesota talk like that (See Fargo.) But what was going on with the villains? They switch from English to Swedish (I think) and then spend the second half of the movie just screaming "AARGH! AARGH!" all the time.

Fight scenes: Did you stylize the hand-to-hand battles based on a fight between two nancy Swedish hockey players? These guys in the movie are supposed to be fighting for their lives, but they usually throw only love taps. More realism please.

Other questions about logic:

Now, some questions related to GIMP.

I'm afraid I have to give your movie a D for both film and GIMP scenes.

The bottom line is that you guys tried to make a GIMP movie without even knowing the basics. That type of approach is wrong-headed. It's insipid. It's confusing. It's ... it's ... it's ... Madness!

Thank you for your time.