Hey fellas, I'm finally back with a mainstream movie review. It's been a while, but I've found a doozy for you. I honestly still can't even believe this exists in 2017. To the director Jared Cohn, I tip my cap to you sir. If you had a jersey number I'd petition Ralphus to retire it.

Alright so it's called Locked Up, which is possibly the laziest movie title of all time, but who cares. It's another in the women in prison genre, only it takes place in Southeast Asia, the apparent last place you ever want to be a female prisoner. The token white girl main character Mallory isn't the hottest, but she has a good body and shows the whole thing off like every other scene. Forced stripping, full-frontal nudity, rape, lesbianism...it's all here.

The movie starts with Mallory getting in trouble with some mean looking Asian schoolgirls. Apparently she told on their ring leader for something, which, in this country gets you punched in the face with a recording of it posted to your Facebook page. After they do that she snaps and hits the girl with a pipe that was conveniently lying on the ground, and that's enough to get her jailed for 2 years, because of course it is.

The first thing they do is throw her in a cell and make her strip completely naked in front of a bunch of other prisoners. They taunt her as she slowly does it and changes into her prison garb.

Then she gets beat up a little on the playground because everyone just wants to kick everyone else's ass in this place. After that she goes for her first shower scene.

A little later, warden sidekick brings her to a shady looking room for the best scene of the movie. Apparently her father is rich and the Asians want his money, but he won't pay up. So they decide they're going to gang rape her twice a week until he does. This is hands down the best rape scene I've seen in a mainstream movie in years. They force her to strip, then 3 guys grab a hold of her and she struggles while the warden explains the situation.

They turn her around and take turns raping her from behind. It's as explicit as it can get short of being porn, showing her from the front and back as all three take her.

After that she's hustled away still naked and told to shower. In the shower she tries to hang herself but can't even get that right. Then it's more taunting about how Americans are weak and she needs to toughen up and yada yada, while she cowers on the floor still naked.

Then she starts finally learning how to fight, and the one girl who's befriended her and is training her decides she wants to get some action out of it, and they have a decent lesbian scene. It's not coerced, but Mallory isn't a lesbian so it's kind of a nervous compliance followed by an "oh geeze I can't believe that just happened" feeling.

And that's pretty much it from a GIMP standpoint. The rest is basically a coming of age story via Fight Club. She gets good at fighting, beats up some chicks, gets a hold of a gun somehow and escapes after getting some revenge on the warden and guards.