Here's a review that's a little bit shorter than my recent write up of Slave Island 7.
Title: The Hills Have Eyes 2
Stars: Jessica Stroup and Daniella Alonso
Directed by: Martin Weisz
Running time: 90 minutes
It's stinkeroony time.
Putting aside its dubious merits as a horror movie, it has to be said that as a GIMP movie, The Hills Have Eyes 2 is simply awful. There's just nothing here to recommend.
The movie is about a bunch of National Guard trainees who are training in the desert. After screwing up a "mission" in a mock version of Kandahar, they are sent into an area called "Section 16," the area where the Hills' mutants live -- which I guess gives new meaning to the phrase, War on Terror. Unfortunately, their inevitable run-ins with the mutants don't produce anything worth watching.
In fact, there are only two scenes of note:
- During the opening credits, a naked women who actually shows her tits (Cecile Breccia) is chained to a bed and gives birth to a mutant baby. A little GIMP-worthy, I guess, since she's tied up, but the scene is quite dark and of little value.
- One of the female cadets, played by Daniella Alonso, is bent over a table (I think it's a table) and raped doggie style by a mutant. Alonso is hot (she was apparently voted number 41 in Maxim's Hot 100 last year). But the rape scene isn't. It's all very dark, with a jumpy camera, and the only shots of Alonso are an extreme closeup on her face. A serious let down.
And that's really about it. There's another attractive star in the film, Jessica Stroup, but nothing GIMP-worthy happens to her.
My grade: F
Actually, the two letters that best sum up this movie are P.U. Do not buy this film. Do not rent it. Forget I ever mentioned it, and avoid at all costs.
