Head of the Family (1996)

Full Moon Productions is responsible for a lot of my favorite cult films. It also provided a lot of feature roles for the delectable Jacqueline Lovell (Sara St James). This is one such movie. Unfortunately, the Full Moon features were generally extremely high camp, and Head of the Family is no different. However, there is a GIMP scene in this movie that is one of my all-time favorites, so I'm going to have some fun reviewing it.

There are two hotties in this movie: the aforementioned drop dead gorgeous Jacqueline Lovell, playing white trash Lorretta, and the amply endowed Dianne Colazzo, playing the mute and scantily clad Ernestine Stackpoole. Jacqueline Lovell is exposed, half-naked or fully naked on several occasions. Dianne Colazzo is topless in one memorable scene. But the crown jewel of this movie is when Jacqueline Lovell is stripped naked, tied to a stake, and has the kindling under her set on fire. Oh yeah.

Shortly after the movie starts, Lorretta and Lance (who is not Lorretta's husband) are having sex in the stockroom with her sitting on the counter and Lance pumping away between her outstretched legs. About 14:00 minutes in, Lorretta is naked in Lance's car, bouncing up and down on him. About 30:45 minutes in, Lorretta is bent over in the stockroom with Lance doing her from the back. At the 34:00 minute mark, Lorretta visits Lance in his room, takes off her panties and they jump in bed. At 40:30, Lorretta is laying naked in bed with Lance positioned perpendicular to her belly and they are drinking champagne. He spills some on her deliciously flat belly and licks it off. (That's the way to drink champagne.) And finally at 45:45, Lance and Lorretta are in the stockroom again, but he's sitting and she's bouncing up and down on him. Lots of nude Jacqueline Lovell.

At the 50:00 minute mark, Ernestine comes into Lance's room and peels off her top, kisses or licks his feet, works her way up to his crotch, and the next thing we know she's riding him and we have a Lance POV watching her ample breasts bounce enthusiastically. Lance is kidnapped.

At 50:45, Lorretta is in bed in her room. When she rolls over, one of her perfect breasts is exposed. She is kidnapped.

Lance is blackmailing the Stackpooles and Myron Stackpoole (the titular head of the family) is trying to get the name of the lawyer who holds the incriminating information out of Lance by threatening to torture him and/or Lorretta. Lorretta is dragged into the basement in her short blue nightie. There is dialog. Lorretta tries to get out of it by offering herself to Myron and she drops her top and she's sitting on her knees in front of him with absolutely perfect breasts and magnificently sculpted nipples (which he licks with an enormously long tongue) and how he can say no is beyond me but he does. Lance still refuses to cooperate. So on with the torture and Lorretta is dragged off screaming.

It is 1:05:00. Myron has arranged for a play to be performed in which Lorretta is playing Joan of Arc. He even wrote a script and demands that Lorretta perform her lines. When she doesn't he shocks her with an electrical choker fastened around her neck. So there's some electro-torture, but it is mild. Lorretta just gives a painful "ow" when he delivers a shock.

At the conclusion of the play, and after Lance still refuses to divulge the name of the lawyer, Lorretta is tied wrists crossed AOH to a stake with kindling under it. At 1:09, her nightie is ripped off in one swift motion, and Jacqueline Lovell's reaction to that was a convincing embarrassment and loss of dignity. She has a nicely trimmed patch of pubic hair but no gold chain around her waist or shoes on her feet. As matters proceed and Lorretta realizes she's about to be burned at the stake, Jacqueline Lovell does a creditable job of sounding at first disbelieving, then scared, then terrfied. At 1:11:15, the kindling is lit. Lorretta screams and struggles. The flames climb higher. (In point of fact, the high flames are in front of her, while all the kindling was stacked behind her. But the visual is awesome.)

Well as luck would have it, she is rescued before she burns. The house burns down and the movie ends on a twisted note, but there is no more nudity or GIMP.

No rape, no rack, no real torture, no whipping. Plus, this movie is high camp, and I will admit that the campness detracted from the feeling of menace. Still, a naked Jacqueline Lovell bound AOH to a stake with flames licking up around her incredible body while she screams and struggles is a massive payoff. Personally, this is a solid A- for me, marred only by the camp elements. The copious Jacqueline Lovell nudity didn't hurt. God I miss her.