Title: Blood Ranch

Stars: Madeleine Lindley and James Fitzpatrick

Director: Corbin Timbrook

Running time: 90 minutes

Well, the people in the PR department certainly had the right idea. The DVD cover art for Blood Ranch shows four women caught in a web of iron chains, with two women bound by their hands, and one of the bound women is gagged. The tagline on the front cover says Rope 'em in...Tie 'em up...Ride 'em hard....

And someone involved in the production also had the right inspiration, as the movie pays homage to the classics, including some scenes inspired by the great Bloodsucking Freaks -- caged women with cannibalistic tendencies, a midget (in drag), and even a human dart board (although, in this case, it's a guy).

Yet, sadly, none of this helps Blood Ranch overcome the glaring absence of a key ingredient -- nudity. Young women are tortured and abused, but no one gets naked. The most flesh we ever see are women stripped down to dirty T-shirts and panties. The net result is that Blood Ranch is OK but disappointing.

The story in this straight-to-DVD flick (released in full screen) is your typical Texas Chainsaw Massacre-ish yarn about four college students and a hitchhiker who are on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. Circumstances lead to their car breaking down, and two of the males and the two females walk in the middle of the night to a ranch, run by a long-haired guy in a bandana (James Fitzpatrick) named Spider, who looks like a funny mix of Sam Kinison and Axl Rose. He has a southern drawl and bad teeth and is supposed to be creepy.

The young people are soon terrorized by Spider and his henchmate, named Mute, a big bald guy who should have been named Igor, along with a ranch-size helping of crazies -- including one middle-aged wack job who wears nothing but a neck brace and green undies, and a guy in a plastic rabbit mask and coveralls who sounds an awful lot like Eugene from the WWE.

All kinds of silliness ensues, most of it neither scary nor erotic, and from a GIMP perspective there are only two scenes worth noting:

1) The chainsaw scene: A young male captive, whose hands are tied to the roof, is forced to watch as Spider and Mute torture a young woman held captive only a few feet away.

The young woman, a brunette, has her right arm tied to the roof, and her mouth is gagged with grey duct tape. She is wearing a dirty T-shirt that reveals her midriff, and red undies, and has arguably the hottest body in the movie.

As Mute holds the male victim's head and forces him to watch, Spider uses a knife to cut some skin off the woman, slicing away a part of her right leg. (For some reason, her left arm just hangs loose, and the woman squeals but doesn't try to fight back). Spider then dangles the piece of carved skin, saying "That's gonna leave a mark," before throwing the slab of skin against a nearby window.

Spider then grabs a chainsaw and lets it rip. He holds out the woman's left arm and proceeds to cut it off, with the woman screaming in pain as the others in the room get splattered with her blood. Once done, the now one-armed woman is left passed out, and Spider turns around and announces he will now use the chainsaw to kill the young man.

I'm not necessarily into mutilation, but this scene was reasonably well done for those who like this sort of thing, and the female victim was definitely sexy.

2) The rape scene: Not quite what it should have been, but still my favorite part of the movie.

Spider has a hot young woman, Val (Madeleine Lindley, seen here: Madeleine), trapped against a ranch wall, with her arms extended out to each side and her wrists chained to the wall. Val has a very pretty, girl-next-door face, huge tits, and a nice slim body. She is wearing a tight green top that completely hugs those big boobs, and tight jeans.

Pretending that Val is his fiancee, Spider (who is dressed in red silk pajamas) arranges dinner at a nearby table, with some bubbly and a meal. Spider lifts the cover off the dinner plate to reveal the main course -- the severed head of Val's boyfriend, the guy who was killed in the chainsaw scene above. Spider grabs the champagne bottle and smashes it over Val's head, and then uses the severed head of the dead guy to torment Val. He sticks the severed head up to her face for a kiss, and then pushes it near Val's covered tits and pussy area.

Spider then chucks the head away and gets down to business. With Val still fully dressed, Spider moves in close and says, "I know what you need, girl," and pulls out his dick (you don't actually see it). "Ah, Jesus," cries Val, and Spider assumes she's impressed. "Oh, yeah, it's big, ain't it?" he says. "Daddy's gonna love you all night."

Spider licks at her face and runs his dirty hands over her face, then plays with her tits and slides his hands down along her nice waist. Spider rips open Val's top a little bit, prompting a look of open-mouthed shock on Val's face, but her tits still remain covered. Spider then moves down, undoes her belt, and pulls off her tight jeans. "What do we got down here?" he asks as the jeans come off. "I got me a full Mac meal."

Pretty Val is weeping, and cries out "why, why", but Spider keeps going, and the actor playing Spider (Fitzpatrick) keeps hamming it up ("why you?" he says in response. "Why not you, bitch.") He continues to press in close to the blonde cutie, feeling up her bare legs before telling her to "open up, daddy's going to give you a joy ride." Although she still has slim panties on, he presumably pushes them aside as he proceeds to nail her against the wall, with Val screaming, in a fucking scene that lasts about 25 seconds. It's quick, but it's good while it lasts.

And that's really about it. The best scene in the movie, the rape scene, has an attractive and convincing victim, yet even this scene is marred by an overly chatty villain and an overdressed victim.

My rating: a C+