Josiah (Robert "Bonecrusher" Mukes) is the "monster" in Backwoods, an outdoors thriller about a paintball game that gets disrupted by a doomsday cult of redneck lunatics. His job is to provide muscle for the cult and expand its population by raping and impregnating kidnapped women who have been strapped to a bed.

For the most part, his off-screen deeds are successful. But onscreen? Well, let's just say that this movie features one of the most ridiculous escapes I have ever seen. And that's a shame because there are some other good GIMP elements in this movie.

Josiah gets it right with his first victim, a large-breasted girl named Gail (Willow Geer) who is camping in the mountains in northern California with her boyfriend Tom. Tom gets butchered and Gail gets chased and captured.

In an underground military compound, two guys put Gail in a cage and strap her arms over her head for an upper spreadeagle. After meeting cult leader Mother Ruth (Deborah Van Valkenburgh), Gail, wearing a white robe, is strapped down in a rather loose spreadeagle to a bed with those thick comfy leather cuffs used in mental institutions. Josiah come up to her and smiles leeringly. Then she struggles and screams 'nooooo' as the rape is implied.

The plot of the movie revolves around a corporate retreat in the woods involving two teams playing paintball. Naturally, there's one hot woman on each team, Lee (Haylie Duff) and Maggie (Mimi Michaels).

After the usual "meet the weird rednecks at the gas station" scene and the swimming scene with NO nudity, the game finally starts. And for all their macho talk, these guys are no match for the cultists.

The corporate colleagues, all wearing fatigues, get picked off with arrows or are easily subdued. As for the girls, they get abducted separately.

Around the 36 minute mark, Maggie is brought to the underground fortress with a black bag over her head. She's been gagged with duct tape. Mother Ruth informs the terrified and confused Maggie that this is her new home.

Still gagged and fighting furiously against two guys holding her arms, Maggie is forced on a chair, handcuffed behind and takes a needle to the neck, causing her to pass out.

Around the 43 minute mark, it's Lee's turn. She's brought in, tape gagged, and she sees a drugged out Maggie laying on a bed naked (but covered in a blanket). After meeting Mother Ruth, (and some scenes of guys being tortured), Lee's in a white robe thingy strapped spreadeagle to a bed. She's surrounded by other women, including Gail, whom Lee recognizes from a missing person's poster. Gail is visibly pregnant and brainwashed.

After some more guy torture, Josiah comes in as Lee struggles. Although Lee is far from being stretched out, she is safely secured and looks sexy as hell. The women finally leave Josiah and Lee alone. Josiah caresses her face and is about to get down to business but, alas, his stupidity ruins everything.

The following is what Lee actually says to him. And since Josiah is a mute, I added what was likely going on in the big galoot's mind:

Lee: Wait. Wait. Untie my arm. I want you to untie my arm.

Josiah (thinking): Hey, this hot woman is talking to me. Maybe she likes me. I better do as she says.

Lee: OK. Now untie the other one.

Josiah: She really likes me! She's not screaming in terror!

Lee: Now, untie my feet.

Josiah: She's still talking to me! I have a girlfriend. Wait'll I tell Ma.

Lee: Good. Good. And untie that one.

Josiah: Heh heh! I'm gonna get me some! Maybe we can become best friends and ... Hey, she kicked me in the head! Ouch! She bit my finger! Where's she running to? Wait. She .. she doesn't like me? GRRRRRRR!

Obviously, the movie required the escape scene. But this was way too easy. It might have been more plausible if, for example, Gail snapped out of it and smacked the hulk with a hammer. At the very least, this is a prime example of why women victims should remain gagged.

The last bit of GIMP action comes when Maggie is rescued. She's clearly traumatized by the rape she endured, which is sort of seen through warped flashbacks.

The remainder of the film is the predictable chase through the mountains.

I was a bit surprised by this movie. I was expecting inbred cannibals and buckets of gore. This was more of an action/thriller movie, which was rather dumb, but mildly entertaining. Haylie Duff and Maggie Michaels were convincing and sexy as the victims. Willow Geer, although not a stunning beauty, was attractive enough. The bondage and the struggling were believable. And it was interesting to see how Deborah Van Valkenburgh has evolved since "The Warriors."

Unfortunately, there was no nudity in the film. The little subplot of raping women to raise the population of the cult was a nice touch for our purposes. But if the doomsday cult thinks that the "seed" from that big idiot Josiah is the key to their survival, Armageddon can't come soon enough for them.

My grades:

GIMP scenes: B-

Overall movie: C+