A Bring Out the GIMP (Girls in Merciless Peril) Movie Review


3 Mainstream Reviews

Reviewed by Elkcreek


A few quickie Mainstream reviews of some gimp possibilities

I rented these with the hope that a quick fantasy might be fulfilled:

DARK COUNTRY: I must confess I am a huge Lauren German fan (Hostel II). If you're going to leave me alone on a desert island with any actress she's the one. I rented this assuming the gimp opportunities would be minimal, but hoping that at least I would see Ms German in some perilous situation. Well, while Ms German has changed my opinion of the ice cube as a sex object (perhaps the sexiest non gimp scene I've ever seen), the movie has zero gimp value. We don't even get to see Ms German act afraid much less real peril. Grade: I give it a D, BUT, everyone deserves to see Lauren German and an ice cube perform some day.

SEVENTH MOON: I also like Ms Amy Smart quite a bit. And she has never approached a serious gimp scene. While again the scenario didn't bode well (being chased around by ghosts). I thought at the very least I would see Amy cowering in a corner terrified. What a waste of time, the shaky camera, dark lighting, Blair Witch cinematography. They might as well have cast Phyllis Diller in the part! Unbelievably, Amy Smart is not sexy in this role, you have to try damn hard to accomplish that. UGH!!! Not even an incomplete on this one!

FARMHOUSE: Again great possibilities, Kelly Hu and Jamie Allman. In this case a couple stumbles into a lone farmhouse when their car breaks down. Unfortunately Kelly is the torturer not the victim. This one pans out a bit. There are two gimp worthy scenes. In one Jamie is tied face down on a board and waterboarded while her husband watches. Unfortunately, being tied face down we don't get to the see the heaving and gasping for air to the full effect. If she was tied face up it would have been a great scene. The second scene, Jamie is tied down in a chair and Kelly Hu tortures here by rubbing a cheese grater on her knees. This one is fairly effective, and very realistic. It still somehow manages to avoid any sexiness (perhaps it's her clothing) Anyway I give it a Gimpers C-. I think Ms Hu, a truly sexy hottie, would have pulled off the role better, and she hasn't had a great gimp scene since Martial Law.







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