The Seduction of Amy starts with a bang. Young Amy is being chased through the woods by a guy who catches her, rips open her blouse and attempts to rape her until she whacks him in the head with a tree branch. Angry, he punches her in the face and she falls back unconscious into a lake. He panics and runs away.

Amy wakes up in a bed, dry, with her ripped blouse still showing one of her breasts. Makes you wonder about someone who rescues a rape victim but leaves her half naked in bed. Her rescuer is a guy with longish feathered 70s hair and a mustache that goes on forever. Also a white Romeo shirt with belled sleeves and open down to the middle of his hairy chest. (I had a red shirt like that back in the late 60s when I didn't know any better but I kept it buttoned up because I didn't have a hairy chest at 14.) So it is no surprise to hear that he has discovered a hidden manuscript from the Marquis de Sade describing a secret ceremony that, not surprisingly, Romeo wants to duplicate.

Following this revelation, Romeo has a standard XXX sex scene with some dark haired girl in the basement of his castle. Because yeah, he's living in a castle, probably the one in which the Marquis de Sade lived and in the basement of which the Marquis de Sade performed all sorts of unspeakable sex acts. We should be so lucky.

Romeo goes upstairs and discovers a random cute girl hitchhiker who just walked in and asked for a tour of his "chateau." He tells her he'll trade her a tour for a performance. She takes off her shirt. He decides she gets her tour. He asks to see her ballet performance and I am not surprised to hear she likes to perform in the nude, which she does. He also gives her the tour while she is nude. He invites her to spend the night and she accepts. Still in the nude, of course.

Amy is awakened by sounds of someone asking (kind of crying out but more sort of like moaning) for help. She lights a candle and goes looking for the source of the voice. A spooky candle-lit walking tour of the chateau follows. She discovers a naked girl chained AOH against a basement wall. She tells Amy to flee "before he comes back." Amy runs upstairs and finds Romeo who tells her she just had a nightmare and walks her back down and shows her no one is chained up downstairs.

The next morning, Amy runs into two more girls. They walk downstairs and find some more guys and girls sitting in the parlor. Everyone is wondering why Romeo (actually the character's name is Gideon) invited them. This is sounding like an Agatha Christie mystery. Or an Edgar Allen Poe short story. As if. The men and women pair off for some random XXX sex while awaiting Romeo. Amy watches everyone pairing off and having uninhibited sex and she is wondering what kind of guy Romeo could be if he has people in his chateau who just have random XXX sex. She is so disappointed, and runs off crying. Everyone else has random XXX sex. Fairly boring XXX sex, unfortunately, that goes on for quite a while.

Cut to two young girls who look like Heidi look-alikes walking along the lake shore. They walk into the chateau uninvited and are shocked to encounter the couples having random XXX sex. So one of them undresses the other one and pushes her into the orgy room. She flees back out and grabs her companion and bends her over her knee and pulls down her panties and spanks her bare butt. Everyone laughs. Next thing we know the dual Heidis are taking turns sucking a guy's cock. Next they straddle him, one being eaten out and the other riding his dick. The orgy continues.

Amy has wandered out to the lake shore and she is crying inconsolably. She gets back to the chateau and the door slams closed behind her! It is locked! She wakes up the orgy participants and they discover they are trapped! They wander around, looking for an exit, naked! Romeo strides in threateningly and apologizes because he cannot control his urges!

He retrieves the girl we saw chained naked to the wall and chains her up AOH in the middle of the chamber and she is whipped. It is not a bad whipping scene, although it doesn't last very long. Romeo asks the whipped girl forgiveness for torturing her, then asks Amy for help. Sucker that she is, she agrees.

Next thing, we are on a beach and Romeo wanders up the sand to find Amy waiting for him. They run toward each other, suddenly stark naked, and embrace and roll down the sand dune. They start having XXX sex in all sorts of positions. You just know that sand is getting everywhere and this all has to be quite uncomfortable. She explains how she's never sucked a cock before and she wants to suck his and she does. It is true love, and she understands his needs. She explains all of this in long expository monologues.

While I was watching this scene in the dunes off the cape and sipping on a pina colada that I made myself because every once in a while I like to make exotic frozen rum drinks, I was hearing Rupert Holmes singing "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," but the lyrics were different:

If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain,
If you like being tied up, if you're into some pain,
If you like being flogged at midnight, and being threatened with rape,
You're the love that I've looked for and I won't let you escape.

Yes, I am really that twisted. And you are never going to hear that song the same way again.

Fast forward one year. Romeo is telling another woman how happy he is with her visit since the death of his wife a year ago. Zoom in on the picture of his deceased wife. It is Amy. Fade out.